Lately, I have seen that we have lost so many famous people and the one that really has affected me the most was Angela "Big Ang" Raiola. For those who don't know who I am taking about, Big Ang was a reality star from the VH1 show Mob Wives. Like most people, I fell in love with the show because it was a way for me to runaway from my problems if only for one hour a week.
I understand that it is a reality show and most if not all of it is fake but I really felt like I could connect with Big Ang. I never met her in real life and I only knew about her from social media but she really seemed like a person that I would have loved to have met and have as a friend.
Watching Big Ang battle through cancer and how it affected her and her family, it threw me back to 1995 when I lost my mom to cancer and how I felt watching her go through something so horrible and I could not do anything to stop it. It really killed me to relive everything that I went through with my mom and watch this wonderful woman go through the same thing. The day I found out that Big Ang had died, I cried like a baby because I know first hand what her family is going through and I finally came to the conclusion that I can not keep living for the future anymore.
Life is so short and most of us really don't think about how true that statement is. We live each day as if tomorrow is promised but in reality, nothing is promised to us. I am not a highly religious person so you will not see me changing my life because of religion. I do believe that we are all put on this earth for a reason and once our job is done then we are all called back home wherever "home" may be.
I miss my mother everyday and I believe that she is in a better place where she is not suffering anymore but some days I want to cuss someone out because I need my mother here with me and so does her granddaughter. Even though I have a huge hole in my life and my heart, I know that life goes on but I have realized that I have been living my life wrong for too many years and it took watching a tribute to Big Ang to open my eyes.
I feel that I have been wasting my time that I have here on Earth because I am too worried about a future that I don't know even exist. What I do know is that I need to take the time to enjoy life with my daughter, family, and friends without worrying about what may lies in the future. Sure this is easier said than done but what is the point of obsessing over the future. I have let my drive to giving a better life to my daughter get the best of me and forgot how to enjoy life just as it is. I'm not saying that we as a society need to stop worrying over bills, retirement, and everything that comes with our future. All I'm saying is that sometime we forget that the most important time is here and now not 10-20 years down the road. Like the song from Billy Dean says, "We are only here for a little while"; so live it up while you can and make the most out of your life right now!
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I understand that it is a reality show and most if not all of it is fake but I really felt like I could connect with Big Ang. I never met her in real life and I only knew about her from social media but she really seemed like a person that I would have loved to have met and have as a friend.Watching Big Ang battle through cancer and how it affected her and her family, it threw me back to 1995 when I lost my mom to cancer and how I felt watching her go through something so horrible and I could not do anything to stop it. It really killed me to relive everything that I went through with my mom and watch this wonderful woman go through the same thing. The day I found out that Big Ang had died, I cried like a baby because I know first hand what her family is going through and I finally came to the conclusion that I can not keep living for the future anymore.
Life is so short and most of us really don't think about how true that statement is. We live each day as if tomorrow is promised but in reality, nothing is promised to us. I am not a highly religious person so you will not see me changing my life because of religion. I do believe that we are all put on this earth for a reason and once our job is done then we are all called back home wherever "home" may be.
I miss my mother everyday and I believe that she is in a better place where she is not suffering anymore but some days I want to cuss someone out because I need my mother here with me and so does her granddaughter. Even though I have a huge hole in my life and my heart, I know that life goes on but I have realized that I have been living my life wrong for too many years and it took watching a tribute to Big Ang to open my eyes.
I feel that I have been wasting my time that I have here on Earth because I am too worried about a future that I don't know even exist. What I do know is that I need to take the time to enjoy life with my daughter, family, and friends without worrying about what may lies in the future. Sure this is easier said than done but what is the point of obsessing over the future. I have let my drive to giving a better life to my daughter get the best of me and forgot how to enjoy life just as it is. I'm not saying that we as a society need to stop worrying over bills, retirement, and everything that comes with our future. All I'm saying is that sometime we forget that the most important time is here and now not 10-20 years down the road. Like the song from Billy Dean says, "We are only here for a little while"; so live it up while you can and make the most out of your life right now!Follow my blog with Bloglovin
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