When I was in my late twenties, I watched as all my friends were getting married and having families. Most of them kept asking me when was I gonna settle down and start my own family. My answer was always the same; once I am done having fun and want to be a responsible adult.
Mind you, I was a responsible adult at the time since I was working full time, paying my bills, and was in a committed relationship. However, it was becoming very clear that after 8 yrs of ups and down, he was not the one for me and I had to move on if I was ever going to get married and have a family.
When I met my daughter's father, he was in the middle of a divorce and I figured since he had two children of his own that if things grew with us that maybe marriage and a family would still be in the cards for me. Like some women, I let my emotions take over and got caught up in my dreams. A year later, I had my daughter, Cheyenne and it felt as if my dreams were coming true. Then reality came crashing down. We both made mistakes and it became very clear that we would not be having the happy ever after that I thought we would.
Now this would be where most women would panic. Omg I'm a single mom, now what? How am I going to do it by myself? I hate to say it but those thoughts did run through my mind for a minute since her father and I live in different states and coming together for visitations can be rough but we still manage to figure it out. We have a good relationship for our daughter and we have been able to work everything out with custody, support, and visitation without going through court.
I have always considered myself a strong woman and I know all about the "stigma" about being a single mom but I was not expecting that people still think that way. I mean come on its 2016 but I still hear people calling my daughter a "B" (sorry but I will not post that word because it makes my blood boil), saying that I'm living in sin or that I'm damaged "goods". Why is it that everyone has to have an opinion about the way everyone else lives? When I was growing up, I was taught to show everyone respect until they did or said something that didn't deserve my respect.
It took me some time before I could get passed what people had to say about my lifestyle choice but I have one thing to say to all who have judged me without getting to know me. I am a wonderful mom, who loves her daughter and will do anything for her. Most days, I run on two hours of sleep so I can make sure that my daughter can have everything she wants and more. Being a single mom does not make you a bad person; it makes you a stronger person by showing you that you are capable of doing so much when you have someone who depends on you.
One last thing that I would love to say to all the single moms out there: don't let anyone put you down or get you down! You are a strong, beautiful, talented woman and I know most days it seems like it can be too much but remember you have little ones that depend on you and one day we will all find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Mind you, I was a responsible adult at the time since I was working full time, paying my bills, and was in a committed relationship. However, it was becoming very clear that after 8 yrs of ups and down, he was not the one for me and I had to move on if I was ever going to get married and have a family.
When I met my daughter's father, he was in the middle of a divorce and I figured since he had two children of his own that if things grew with us that maybe marriage and a family would still be in the cards for me. Like some women, I let my emotions take over and got caught up in my dreams. A year later, I had my daughter, Cheyenne and it felt as if my dreams were coming true. Then reality came crashing down. We both made mistakes and it became very clear that we would not be having the happy ever after that I thought we would.
Now this would be where most women would panic. Omg I'm a single mom, now what? How am I going to do it by myself? I hate to say it but those thoughts did run through my mind for a minute since her father and I live in different states and coming together for visitations can be rough but we still manage to figure it out. We have a good relationship for our daughter and we have been able to work everything out with custody, support, and visitation without going through court.
I have always considered myself a strong woman and I know all about the "stigma" about being a single mom but I was not expecting that people still think that way. I mean come on its 2016 but I still hear people calling my daughter a "B" (sorry but I will not post that word because it makes my blood boil), saying that I'm living in sin or that I'm damaged "goods". Why is it that everyone has to have an opinion about the way everyone else lives? When I was growing up, I was taught to show everyone respect until they did or said something that didn't deserve my respect.
It took me some time before I could get passed what people had to say about my lifestyle choice but I have one thing to say to all who have judged me without getting to know me. I am a wonderful mom, who loves her daughter and will do anything for her. Most days, I run on two hours of sleep so I can make sure that my daughter can have everything she wants and more. Being a single mom does not make you a bad person; it makes you a stronger person by showing you that you are capable of doing so much when you have someone who depends on you.
One last thing that I would love to say to all the single moms out there: don't let anyone put you down or get you down! You are a strong, beautiful, talented woman and I know most days it seems like it can be too much but remember you have little ones that depend on you and one day we will all find the light at the end of the tunnel.
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